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The boys didn’t need any more surprises from a parent.

I was predictable; I didn’t bring home any threats to their homeland security. It was easier to go to bed early, wake up early and get on with my day.

She flees an abusive relationship only to have her ex essentially abandon her three sons when he moved overseas, providing no financial support and rarely communicating.

The following excerpt is a shortened version of Weldon’s chapter on the challenges of dating as a single, midlife parent, titled simply: Raising the boys alone without financial assistance or physical reprieve kept me occupied, if not impatient. “How often are your boys away for the whole weekend? “Never.” I noticed a perceptible shift in his demeanor. I liked being able to relinquish control, even if just in the restaurant ordering wine.

There was the Italian accountant with the creaseless pants who asked early on our first date if I had my marriage annulled.

In May, we examined the online dating and social lives of single mothers; we thought it was only fair that we look at similar behaviors for single dads.

Examining nearly 85,000 profiles on First Met.com, we found most single fathers reside in Wyoming and Maine (also hot-spots for singles moms)!

I loved him for who he was, but mostly for who he was not. I liked being able to relinquish control, even if just in the restaurant ordering wine. But here is the thing, and here is what so many men miss: Women who are charged with doing it all — women like me who care for children and sometimes elderly parents and homes and careers — sometimes we want to do one less thing.

Sometimes we do not want to be the only one to take out the garbage and drive to the store.Sometimes we are so tired of being together and in charge, we do not even want to talk, listen or pick out a movie.Sometimes we would rather have a hot stone massage from a total stranger than a conversation of substance.I also had hundreds of papers to grade, articles to file for magazines and newspapers, books to research and write. “He was so boring,” I told Dana, my former college roommate, on the phone after a nice date with a nice man who was nice looking.I had to give speeches and go to conferences and meetings. “I think he went through his entire day minute by minute in chronological order.” “Oh, honey,” Dana said. You just forgot.” There were men I met in airports, on airplanes or in shared cabs when I traveled for work. Not that I am all that flirty, but I answer them, even if I know the question about where are the sundried tomatoes is just a ruse.I can take a long weekend, but I need to go home Sunday night because I have to throw in a load of laundry and drive someone to school from my own home the next morning.

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