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It is a quarter past 11 and there is no little traffic. KDF in somalia " data-medium-file="https://i2com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/soldgers.jpg? fit=300,187" data-large-file="https://i2com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/soldgers.jpg? fit=620,387" style="display:none" class="crazy_lazy alignnone size-full wp-image-2133" src="data:image/gif;base64, R0l GODlh AQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==" data-src=" alt="KDF in somalia" width="620" height="387" srcset="https://i2com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/soldgers.jpg? After witnessing him taking a shit right in the middle of a highway I lost all the respect I had for him. By now I am driving globe cinema roundabout and then up to Ngara where I speed down Murang’a Road towards Thika Superhighway. But just so for your information, I think any man who drives an automatic car is a coward. Me: Look, just pay me then request for another ride, OK? (That metallic taste in his voice again) I need to get to Donholm.

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It takes me less than five minutes to drive to the Department of Defence (Do D) only to find him waiting at the main entrance.

I have never really been to Githurai though I have driven past a couple of times.

I start the car immediately and drive fast towards Ruiru because the last thing I want is for him to ask me to take him home to my wife and kids.

Me: I asked if you’re a soldier because I wanted to know what I’d be dealing with if you posed a threat to my life. Him: Why do you think I’d pose a danger to your life?

Me: You question me like there’s something wrong with normalcy. It is what our ancestors fought and died for all those years ago. For the right of Kenyans to lead their normal, boring lives. Maybe you even have a quickie before you jump out of bed and grab a shower. Or she is on her period and you’re horny so you masturbate in the shower. Then you have to make sure your normal kids are ready for normally uninteresting school and then they are off. I don’t have toilet paper but I have some wet wipes which he grabs, gets out of the car, walks to the middle lane, pulls down his pants and squats. I am growing increasingly uncomfortable with him being inside my car so I press the fuel pedal to the floor because I want to get to Githurai as quickly as possible and be rid of this Charles character.

Me: Finding something that hasn’t been found by anyone else before? As a matter of fact, driving around Nairobi at this time of the night is therapeutic. With a normal job and a normal relationship and normal friends and normal beliefs, right? w=620 620w, https://i2com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/soldgers.jpg? resize=300,187 300w, https://i2com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/soldgers.jpg? resize=450,281 450w" sizes="(max-width: 620px) 94vw, 620px" /You wake up from your boring bed in the morning and say good morning to your uninteresting wife and she smiles and says good morning to her uninteresting husband. Maybe it’s the way he says it that gets me to pull over to the side. Besides, I’m getting sleepy so I need to get home quickly and sleep.

Uber driver picture " data-medium-file="https://i1com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Noel-Tock.jpg? fit=300,200" data-large-file="https://i1com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Noel-Tock.jpg? fit=850,567" style="display:none" class="crazy_lazy size-full wp-image-2132" src="data:image/gif;base64, R0l GODlh AQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==" data-src=" alt="Uber driver picture" width="1200" height="800" srcset="https://i1com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Noel-Tock.jpg?

w=1200 1200w, https://i1com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Noel-Tock.jpg? resize=300,200 300w, https://i1com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Noel-Tock.jpg? resize=768,512 768w, https://i1com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Noel-Tock.jpg? resize=1024,683 1024w, https://i1com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Noel-Tock.jpg? resize=450,300 450w, https://i1com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Noel-Tock.jpg? resize=850,567 850w, https://i1com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Noel-Tock.jpg? resize=750,500 750w" sizes="(max-width: 739px) 94vw, (max-width: 969px) 88vw, (max-width: 1199px) 860px, 850px" /I had just dropped off some young lady at her apartment when the request came through. I intended to drive straight home after dropping this particular client. My name is Daniel and I am an Uber driver based in Nairobi.

So I reduce the volume and press the brakes pedal as we’re approaching another set of bumps.

And he seems so calm like he has done this a million times.

Me: Um, Charles, I was actually heading home to Githurai so maybe you could do me a favor and cancel your ride then request another one?

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