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"You are so stupid, your sister would never get a "C" and so on...have turned the table. I go on and marry men that are like my father except now I am the enabler and I'm scapegoating one of my own children. Just being aware of the dsyfunction does not make it go away.
The abuse is usually silent and behind closed doors, abusers rarely go public with their little secret.
The wife usually suffers in silence and alternates between rage and self blaming, it's a sad cycle but can be broken. Hugs to you and to a future of love and fulfillment, may whoever we end up with appreciate and nurture us for who we are.
(Its actually how they turn it around - manipulation) Eventhough the problem stemmed from the drinking, if they could point the finger at me, then they took the blame off them.
A good example would be that Dad got drunk last night and made a total fool of himself.
Then when you look into the mirror you see two faces smiling back. I was also raised in an alcoholic, mentally, physically and spirtually abusive family.
My father drank to the extreme, my mother stood by and watched.
If your post was directed at me, I don't think I am perfect at all... Does he have time.comment like weed..much and no time... Abusers are manipulators and cunning, can appear to be charming and thoughtful then behind closed doors, they're totally different.
I have my places of dysfuntion, just like everyone else. I am not sure where our viewpoints differ, all your examples would be someone who is dealing with dysfunction. It's not a "mood" shift either, something far more drastic and dangerous!
In this way being "us" results only in perfection of self-abasement.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating